{"id":214,"date":"2018-05-20T18:33:19","date_gmt":"2018-05-20T22:33:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aig.alumni.virginia.edu\/dearaapaan\/?p=214"},"modified":"2026-06-01T16:41:15","modified_gmt":"2026-06-01T20:41:15","slug":"family-discourages-many-asian-friends-however-since-coming-college-basically-friends-asians-bad-thing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/2018\/05\/20\/family-discourages-many-asian-friends-however-since-coming-college-basically-friends-asians-bad-thing\/","title":{"rendered":"My family discourages me from having so many Asian friends. However, since coming to college I am basically only friends with Asians. Is this a bad thing?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"font-weight: 400\"><strong>Dear AAPAAN<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\"><strong>My family discourages me from having so many Asian friends. However, since coming to college I am basically only friends with Asians. Is this a bad thing? But also, how can I put myself into other communities?<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\"><strong>Anonymous<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\">Dear Anonymous<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\">I don\u2019t think it\u2019s a bad thing.\u00a0\u00a0My phrase for this is \u201cYou do you\u201d (*with a caveat).\u00a0\u00a0Parents, elders, and friends love to give advice, and we should listen to try to understand their wisdom and learn from their mistakes.\u00a0\u00a0But, we also need to live our own lives and be comfortable in our own skin.\u00a0\u00a0If you enjoy being involved in Asian\/Asian Pacific groups (APA) or having Asian friends because you enjoy their company and cultural connections, then you should continue to do that.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\">But, \u201c<strong>everything in moderation<\/strong>\u201d.\u00a0\u00a0You don\u2019t want to exclude meeting people because having a diverse group of friends and experiences will make you a richer person.\u00a0\u00a0You\u2019ll understand different cultures and backgrounds, and just generally be a better human being.\u00a0\u00a0It would be probably be helpful to join different groups (could be cultural, related to an academic club, community service, or related to you your hobbies) and learn to interact with other people.\u00a0\u00a0College offers so many activities and opportunities to meet people, go out there and set a goal (i.e. try 1 new event a week), and within a few months, I\u2019m sure you\u2019ll have developed some new relationships.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-215 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/asians-1341650_1280.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"854\" srcset=\"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/asians-1341650_1280.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/asians-1341650_1280-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/asians-1341650_1280-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/asians-1341650_1280-1024x683.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\">Being able to interact and deal with different types of people will also\u00a0<strong>benefit you in your career<\/strong>.\u00a0\u00a0In your job, you aren\u2019t going to be working only with Asians.\u00a0\u00a0In fact, that scenario is extremely unlikely in the US.\u00a0\u00a0In addition, you don\u2019t want people to think you only \u201chang out\u201d or \u201ctalk\u201d with Asians \u2013 you want to be known as broad-based and able to work with diverse types of people and personalities.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-216 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/action-3399519_1280.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"1280\" height=\"853\" srcset=\"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/action-3399519_1280.jpg 1280w, https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/action-3399519_1280-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/action-3399519_1280-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2018\/05\/action-3399519_1280-1024x682.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1280px) 100vw, 1280px\" \/><\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\">Quite often, what we think of as facts are really just a single perspective on what is happening.\u00a0\u00a0Having diverse friends will help you gain insights on other perspectives on the same happening.\u00a0\u00a0Learning the skill to look at issues from totally different perspective will put you ahead on the career curve where personal skills may ultimately be more important than technical skills.<\/p>\n<p style=\"font-weight: 400\">Om<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear AAPAAN My family discourages me from having so many Asian friends. However, since coming to college I am basically only friends with Asians. Is this a bad thing? But also, how can I put myself into other communities? Anonymous Dear Anonymous I don\u2019t think it\u2019s a bad thing.\u00a0\u00a0My phrase for this is \u201cYou do [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":95,"featured_media":217,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[8,11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-asian-culture","category-student-life"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>My family discourages me from having so many Asian friends. However, since coming to college I am basically only friends with Asians. 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Is this a bad thing?"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/#website","url":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/","name":"Dear AAPAAN","description":"A forum for students and alumni of the Asian American UVA Community","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/#organization","name":"Dear AAPAAN","url":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2017\/08\/cropped-cropped-AAPAAN_lg_trans.gif","contentUrl":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/files\/2017\/08\/cropped-cropped-AAPAAN_lg_trans.gif","width":1281,"height":312,"caption":"Dear AAPAAN"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"}},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/#\/schema\/person\/760500f900b8053272a4da35caf8c920","name":"Emma Farthing","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/29b54aa0e17b5841a80cb5f3bbcdfc626cdae8861e46bf84ef7e9c4927af2f20?s=96&d=mm&r=g","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/29b54aa0e17b5841a80cb5f3bbcdfc626cdae8861e46bf84ef7e9c4927af2f20?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/29b54aa0e17b5841a80cb5f3bbcdfc626cdae8861e46bf84ef7e9c4927af2f20?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Emma Farthing"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/95"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=214"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":429,"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214\/revisions\/429"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/aig.uvaalumni.org\/dearaapaan\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}